Ring Around the Collar
by Asane Hime
Summary: Ebichu x Yuki, Ebichu and Fruits Basket crossover. Poor Yuki is stuck in his mouse form and seduced by Ebichu. complete
1. Page 1

It's time for *drumroll*  
OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMERS!!  
*crowd cheers*  
Here's where I pretend to be an annoying 15 year old yaoi fan girl and talk to myself and imaginary characters for a good 600 words or so about nothing important what so ever! Oh yes, I'm also supposed to say, "this fic sucks, but please read it anyway and leave me lots of nice fuzzy bunny comments. Just don't leave flames, even if I deserve them."

Oh, silly me. I'm also supposed to write with horrid grammar and spelling and sexually pair characters in a way that makes me look like a total idiot. Well, it's after 5am and I had an exam so I can't be perfect today (_Notice the obligatory reference to personal problems that no one really cares about. And yes, the word of the day is "obligatory" because it's just that fun to say_). Right Yuki?  
*insert obligatory imaginary character response here*

The current trend in Furuba writing seems to be "chapters" of fewer than 500 words or so. Purportedly (_hmm, might need a dictionary to understand that word_), the Furuba fan fiction fan base (_oo, tongue twister!_) has A.D.D. (attention deficit disorder) and can't tolerate anything longer. Of course, our attention span for long, completely pointless disclaimers is infinite!

I'm also supposed to upload only a few chapters and never finish the story, even if it's total length is only 2000 words. I'm such a bad fanfic writer; I'll have to break that rule. At least I'm good enough to not have finished writing the story yet!

Anyway, onto the *real* disclaimers:

Author: Asane Hime (himechan2b@yahoo.com)  
Title: Ring Around the Collar  
Warnings: Het, bestiality, implied sex, humor  
Couples: EbichuxYuki, Goshujin-samaxBoyfriend  
Archived: http://megroad.scp.rochester.edu/~himechan (when I get around to it) and FFnet  
Disclaimers: I don't own Fruits Basket, Ebichu, or any of the characters. Resemblances to any Fruits Basket or Ebichu characters are completely noncoincidental. But seriously, I do own the story written here. This was written out of love and respect for the series and revenge for all the bad Furuba yaoi fics on the web so please don't sue this poor grad student's tooshi  
Notes: This was a strange idea that popped into my head while discussing random animal pairings of Furuba characters on a FruityGroup ML poll with Mona. Thanks to Mona for writing inspiring lemon scenes between Goshujin and her boyfriend for me. This fic is unbetaed. Praise begged for and **constructive** criticism also welcome! Flames are subject to public stoning, followed by a tar and feathering if I'm in the mood.

Yay! I reached my goal. Disclaimers = 440 words, Page 1 = 220 words. Go me!

**Ring Around the Collar Page 1**

It was a beautiful spring day and the cherry blossoms scattered in the breeze creating a lush pink carpet throughout the busy city streets. It was also a good day for revenge. Yuki had enough of Ayame; the man had bothered them in their peaceful home far too often the past few weeks - well, peaceful if you ignored Yuki's constant fighting with Kyou - and had made a revolting habit of hitting on Touru every chance he got. Today, it was all going to end. Today, Yuki would have his revenge.

Yuki had been scheming for days how he would put an end to his brother's snake-like ways. It wasn't until that morning that he awoke with a sudden solution to all his problems. He grabbed his wallet and rushed to the door. It was so soon after awaking that most of the household was left speechless because Yuki was, if anything, *not* a morning person. Touru managed a stunned stuttering of "where is Yuki-kun going" before he was completely out the front door.

Yuki paused and without moving his body, turned his head to look at Touru with an evil gleam in his eye and malicious grin and whispered, "the mall." Touru was frozen in shock and didn't even see him leave.

TBC...


	2. Page 2

It's time for *more drumroll*  
COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY DISCLAIMERS!!  
As well as obligatory whining about my personal life, shameful begging for more positive feedback, and talking to imaginary characters.

Gosh, this is so hard. Where should I start? I had a horrible oral exam today minna (_Notice the insertion of obligatory Japanese fan girl speak_) and so I'm really sorry that this chapter took a whole day longer to be posted.  
(_Insert obligatory imaginary character talking to readers in defense of author and the use of Japanese fan girl honorifics_)  
Kyou: It was a really hard exam and everyone should give their condolences to Hime-sama

I hope everyone survived the many months between my stories because I know you are all horribly addicted to my writing. Mwahahahaha! (_--Inserted obligatory evil laugh caused by obligatory statement of author being evil in some way to her readers_)

Oh, I almost forgot to shamefully beg! Please, please, pleeaaase leave me kind cuddly cotton candy comments (_I just love alliteration_) so that my ego inflates to the point that it reaches maximum capacity and explodes! I love you all to pieces! *squeeze*

Wow, that was harder than I thought!!!! On to the next page!!! (_--Obligatory overuse of exclamation points_)

**Ring Around the Collar Page 2**

As was common for such nice days, the mall was packed full of happy go-lucky people, although people weren't the only ones to frequent malls when the weather was nice. In the corner of the mall pet shop, conveniently located next to the food court so that the smells of food kept the animals in eternal hunger and the smells of animals kept the people eternally nauseous, sat a little brown and white hamster called Ebichu. Goshujin-sama had left for the weekend with her lousy boyfriend and Ebichu had managed to finish all her housecleaning chores. On the rare days she had any free time, she liked to visit the nearby pet store to talk to others of her kind. Ebichu, as naive as she was, was still quite liberal and associated herself with not only hamsters, but gerbils, guinea pigs, and mice as well.

Upon entering the mall at the food court entrance, which was the closest entrance to the pet shop, Yuki's stomach rumbled loudly in large protest of hunger. "I guess in my hurry, I didn't think to grab breakfast," he thought, and headed off to buy a muffin. In a hurry to get to the pet store and complete his devious mission, he ate while walking and didn't pay much attention to where he was going. Of course, on a crowded day as this, it was a fatal flaw; he bumped into a woman and transformed into a mouse in the middle of the food court. Luckily, no one really noticed and the women just shook her head in confusion and continued on. Unfortunately, the gods were against Yuki that day, most likely because he was plotting to do nefarious things to his older brother.

Two younger boys were sitting at a table nearby when the transformation took place. They were just killing time waiting for their food to be done and picking at their soda bottles. Eventually, one managed to wrench the plastic ring off of his drink and flicked it into the air at the crowd. Under most circumstances, the act was at worst littering, but in this case, it was assault. The ring managed to slip itself over Yuki's head as he transformed and got stuck around his neck.

Thinking he would transform back in short order, Yuki quickly decided to head to the dressing rooms of the nearest clothing store. Coincidentally enough, it was right next to the pet shop. Unfortunately, a strait shot to the store would have been fatal with the amount of foot traffic, so he stuck to the walls and detoured into the less busy pet shop to cover the distance.

Murphy really had a grudge on Yuki that day. Running as fast as he could, he didn't manage to spot the mousetrap until it was too late. "We caught another one!" cried one of the employees. "Looks like we've caught almost all the rodents that escaped from that cage this morning." The clerk then took removed Yuki from the human mousetrap and gently set him in a cage with a brown and white hamster. The clerk must have been an idiot not to notice that one of the "mice" he had caught was a hamster and that the other had a collar around it's neck.

TBC...


	3. Page 3

And now, for our obligatory disclaimer break:  
Ugh, I'm really getting sick of writing these disclaimers and my chapters are just getting longer and longer. I have failed. *wails* That's why I need all of you to leave me supportive ego boosting comments so that I can write better and longer disclaimers in a more timely fashion. Without your support, I don't think I'll have the will power to keep writing my disclaim…err…story. *wipes brow*

I must take a serious moment here to give you a real disclaimer. This is the first page that has monkey sex as seen through the eyes of a hamster. There is also Ebichu abuse. If these ideas bother you, please stop reading now. However, if you've managed to survive any yaoi Furuba fics, I don't think you have anything to worry about. This comedy is only rated R after all.

The sun has now risen, it's 6 am, and I have a headache so I guess I'll have to leave out some of the obligatory disclaimer stuff. Oh, I managed to stick in a personal complaint! *dances excitedly* (_use of obligatory dancing of happiness_) Well, that was a total surprise. I must be a natural.

**Ring Around the Collar Page 3**

For a good few minutes, Ebichu and Yuki just stared at each other, each lost in their own thoughts. Yuki was trying to figure out why he still hadn't transformed back. He realized that the collar probably prevented him from changing because it would choke him. "All I wanted to do was buy some snake poison, murder my brother, and take Touru all for myself, and *this* had to happen. Inconceivable," he sighed, still struggling to get the bottle ring off his neck. Ebichu was having completely different thoughts, however, and was lost in a flashback.

*_Flashback_*  
Goshujin-sama and her boyfriend were at it again. For some reason, they enjoyed making the bed squeak at night, especially on the weekends. Sometimes the squeaking got them so excited that they moaned and screamed in response. They often used props to help make the bed squeak louder. This time, Goshujin-sama's lousy boyfriend was wearing a thick collar around his neck. Ebichu didn't understand it's purpose, but Goshujin-sama seemed to be more in charge this time and was ordering him around.

They took a break from making the bed squeak to play charades. The boyfriend got on all fours and howled, screaming "please forgive me, please forgive me." While Ebichu didn't know why he was saying that phrase, she was smart enough to figure out that he was pretending to be a dog. She was proud of her self for getting one of the charades right.

The humans eventually got really creative and decided to simultaneously make the bed squeak and to play charades. Goshujin-sama pretended to be a cowboy and rode on top of her "horse" boyfriend and yelled "ai, ai, ai!"

*_Flashback_*  
"That's it, I've had it with you! You are a good for nothing vermin who can't do anything right! Why I ever bothered spending $10 on you, I'll never know," Goshujin-sama yelled and flung Ebichu into the wall, as was her norm. Ebichu slowly slid down, leaving yet another streak of blood to cover the many lining the apartment walls. Ebichu had once again managed to mess things up in her naivete. "You should take example from those that are better than you and learn something."

"Yes, Goshujin-sama," Ebichu cried, bowing her squat little rodent body as best she could in supplication. "I'll try my best." To Ebichu, Goshujin-sama was someone to look up to and so she decided to try to emulate her owner as best she could. She still didn't understand many things, especially those involving the Goshujin's lousy boyfriend, but she vowed that she would learn them one day.  
*_End Flashbacks_*

TBC….

(_Insert obligatory question for the reader about their opinion of the story. Sorry I forgot to do this earlier._)  
So how was it minna? Did you like it? I will get the next chapter out as soon as I can (_This is an outright lie. I will actually wait I get enough positive feedback before I deem it worthy to continue to share my greatness with you_).  
(_Insert obligatory restatement of previous shameful begging and threaten not to continue the story_)  
Please leave me happy fuzzy bunny comments and beg me to finish this story. If you don't, then I might not finish it and poor Ebichu will die a virgin!


	4. Page 4

_Ok, time to get down to some serious story telling here. There are some *real* disclaimers for this section to mention first, however. No, I will not bitch about my personal life, talk to imaginary characters, nor do weird fan girly things. This chapter contains hot rodent sex, so let ye be warned if such things disturb you, as they very well should. No animals were hurt nor virginities lost in the production of this fic, although through great special effects we've done a great job simulating them. Please don't call PETA and no, I am *not* a fan of bestiality!! On with the show!_

**Ring Around the Collar, Page 4**

Yuki was the first to come out of his thoughtful trance. He leapt onto the water bottle and clung for dear life as he slowly climbed his way to the top of the cage. "I have to get out of here and then I can try to find something to get this stupid ring off my neck." He pushed at the top of the cage as hard as he could, but it was sealed tight. His rodent instincts came to fore as he frantically began gnawing at the wire screen trapping him from above

"Damn it, I have to get out of here! If I don't, I'll never see Touru again and we still have yet to…" As vivid images of a naked Touru that he had never seen flooded his mind, his furry face flushed bright red, causing him to lose his grip and fall. His head banged the spout of the water bottle hard on the way down, but his landing was surprisingly soft. In fact, he found himself seated on a pleasantly silky and cushiony surface. Still a little stunned and deluded with thoughts of Touru, he looked down and saw two sweet brown eyes peering back at him. "Touru…" he whispered.

The eyes became quizzical and Ebichu tilted her head. "Touru? Hi, I'm Ebichu. What's your name?" Ebichu, although a little breathless from the weight on her chest, was elated to meet a new potential friend.

"Touru, don't you remember me? It's Yuki! Oh god, are you hurt?" he asked as he jumped off of Ebichu. Since hitting his head on the waterspout, his vision was very blurry, but he could easily make out the two innocent brown eyes staring back at him.

"No, I'm ok," she smiled. Although Yuki couldn't see her smile on her lips, he saw it in her gaze. His heart skipped a beat and he turned bright red from bottom to top, the fur in his face bristling out for a moment.

Against the contrasting bright red, Ebichu finally took notice of the collar around Yuki's neck. Suddenly, she remembered her Goshujin-sama's words, "You should take example from those that are better than you and learn something." What would Goshujin-sama do in these circumstances? This situation seemed familiar, yet it was different. Something snapped in Ebichu's pea-sized brain and she suddenly remembered what her master does when her boyfriend wears a collar. Keeping good to her word, she decided to try to emulate her master.

Ebichu flipped Yuki over on his back and pounced on him. "Let's play a game, Yuki," she announced as she stuck her face in his. For some reason, this caused Yuki to turn even redder, although Ebichu was happy it did. The lousy boyfriend often turned beat red in this situation as well so she knew she was doing something right.

"A g-g-game?" Yuki stuttered. "Touru, exactly what kind of game do you want to play?" Yuki's head was spinning with the sudden rush of blood flowing in two opposite directions in his body. Still not entirely coherent after his fall, he neglected to notice that the brown eyes inching closer and closer to his own purple ones were housed in a furry brown and white body and that he himself was not human, but already transformed into a mouse.

Around those two tantalizing amber orbs boring into his, Yuki's mind concocted an angelic vision of his love Touru. She was dressed in diaphanous white silk folds and an unfelt breeze was blowing her satiny locks of hair into a most seductive dance. She was positively breathtaking. He wanted to part those silken layers that hindered him from touching her milky white flesh beneath. His imagination supplied him with the pert pink nipples that lay hidden beneath, yearning for his gentle touch. He licked his lips in anticipation and reached for her glowing chest. "No, I mustn't. Sweet innocent Touru doesn't realize what she's doing to me. She is merely being friendly."

"Yes, a game," chirped Ebichu in her delight. "It's called the squeaky bed game. We have to make the bed squeak as loudly as possible and then try to out do the noise of the bed with our own noises." Ebichu was bobbing up and down on Yuki's firm stomach now, so happy was she that she had remembered the first game correctly. The hard lump beneath her didn't distract her from her mission in the slightest. She would become the best housecleaning hamster ever and never again would her master fling her across the room into walls, leaving Ebichu to wash her own blood from them.

"Squeaky bed? You don't mean…" Yuki gasped in shock. Surely Touru didn't have *that* in mind, did she? But the way she rhythmically bounced on his stomach and even his …, his heart nearly exploded at the thought of her near that part of him.

"Oh, but there isn't a bed here. What will we do? They always start with the squeaky bed game. Hmm." Ebichu's little rodent mind worked as hard as it could to think of what to do. Her brow furrowed in concentration and her bouncing stopped. Yuki was disappointed; it had felt so good.

Ebichu's whiskers twitched and her eyes lit up as an idea managed to make its way into her furry little skull. "Let's just skip to the best part and play charades! You be the horse and I'll be the cowboy!"

"Cha-Charades?" Yuki asked in confusion. "I've never heard it called that before." It would be just like Touru to make up a name for sex that made it sound more innocent. Perhaps she was too embarrassed to say it strait out. But surely, pretending to be a "horse and rider" could mean only sex, right? "Are you sure you're ready to do this Touru? I mean, I don't want to push you or anything." In his mind, though, he was thinking, "oh god, yes! Even if you say no now, I won't be able to stop!"

"Of course I'm ready. At least I think I am. It never looked really hard at least." Ebichu suddenly became very nervous. What if she was wrong about the basics of charades? Hopefully her new friend wouldn't make fun of her for it or fling her against the wall like Goshujin-sama. No, Yuki was too nice. He would never do that, even if did seem a little weird and couldn't remember her name.

Yuki didn't spare a moment. As soon as Touru gave her consent, they occupied themselves by playing "charades."

**~*~**

"Gure, this collar would look great on you. Oo! Or maybe we should get this spiked one to show off your wild side," Ayame exclaimed as he fingered through the dog collar section of the pet store.

"Ayame, puleeze. You know I only wear studded black leather collars," Shigure smirked. "Besides, we're not here to satisfy my kinks. We're here to get dog food for all the strays that insist on coming by," he said as he dragged Ayame by the sleeve to the pet food section.

"Aww, you're no fun," Ayame pouted as he spun on his heels away from Shigure in mock anger. Suddenly, a movement in the corner of his vision attracted his attention. "Now *they* know how to have fun!" he exclaimed, pointing to two rodents having hot steamy sex in a cage in the back.

Being the horndogs … er … snakes or whatever that they were, they both scuttled to the cage for a closer look at the action. "Wow, look at them go at it. I don't think I've seen a happier mouse in my life! Even when Yuki…" Ayame's voice trailed as it suddenly dawned on him. "Uh, Gure, doesn't that mouse look an awful lot like Yuki?"

Shigure peered closely at the mouse who was too occupied with his "charades" to notice him and rubbed his chin. "Hmm, now that you say so, yes it does!"

**~*~**

TBC _I think. Of course, that all depends on how much you bribe me to finish. Or at least, that is what I would say if I were a feedback grubbing whore. Whether there is more or not will depend on my mood and whim. Please post comments, good or bad (although flames are subject to public stoning and possibly tar and feathering) and constructive criticisms if this fic tantalizes your entertainment nerves in any way._


End file.
